Praying for Emily by Tom Whitehead

Author:Tom Whitehead [Tom, Kari, and Emily Whitehead]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Worthy
Published: 2020-10-06T00:00:00+00:00

It was interesting to me how close Kari and I had become with Becky and Ariana in the last year. They had become part of our emotional support group, calling us to find out how Emily was doing, and serving as a shoulder to cry on when we didn’t feel we could burden our parents with more to worry about. With Becky and Ariana, we could explore our fears and our hopes without them advocating for one solution or another, although both were very much on board with the idea of getting a second opinion at CHOP.

My family has very strong opinions about everything and, while they meant the best for us, sometimes when they were expressing a strong sentiment about what we should do, the conversation would start to sound like an argument. What Kari and I needed was to hear our own hearts speaking out loud about what might be the next best step for Emily. With Ariana and Becky, because they were young and didn’t feel they could advise us, we had people who would let us just vent or allow us to express our confusion without pressuring us to make decisions before we were ready. At this point we were so frightened and confused that we honestly didn’t know what to do.

Our worry now was how to decide between Hershey and CHOP—comfort versus the chance for something new. Was it better for Emily to be close to home and be able to see people who loved her nearly every day? Did that support mean more than access to cutting-edge treatments?

The son of one of the families we had met at Hershey had recently passed away from leukemia. They had transferred to CHOP when things started to go downhill for the boy. They told us later that the one regret they had was that they had not transferred to CHOP sooner because they felt if they had, he might still be alive. There is no way of knowing that, of course, and we loved the doctors and the care that we got at Hershey. Yet that opinion hung in my mind while we considered whether we needed a third or even a fourth opinion.

In keeping Emily comfortable and surrounded by family, was she missing out on some new medical advance that could save her life? Kari was the most torn up about this. I kept thinking CHOP was someplace up ahead in Emily’s future, though that vision I’d had with Emily and me in the bone marrow transplant hallway had not come back. Focus on the here and now until the whispers get louder and I understand them more, I thought.

Hershey discharged Emily and we went back home at the end of her first block of chemo. I went back to work, and Kari stayed home with Emily. The only thing Kari wanted to do was to sit on the couch with Emily and watch cartoons, to keep the house tidy, and cook our own food. Kari,

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